It’s hard to live without God… But still, some time I’ve choose to go my own way… Even some time I’ve choose to go in my own ways, He is always there waiting for me to come back to Him.

I want to give Him all that I’m, all that I hope, all that I dream, all that I want and all of my inner most desire. I pray that one day, when He calls me to do His will (even when it seems that in no man would understand and say it is crazy), I’ll say yes!

I don’t know what my future will be, but I can only hope and believe He will provide and sustain all. Faith!

Never in my life had I felt such a strong conviction in my heart. I was not prepared at all for the test today. What I’ve studied did not come out but otherwise. When I took my friend’s answer paper, I was suddenly filled with conviction.

The urge of copying was so strong and yet held back by the conviction!! In fact I’ve learn how to do some question today. Ok.. I admit I did copy a bit but still a bit is wrong!!

God please forgive me!!

I would like to wish all you Happy Chinese New Year. May the love of God cover your and you family ya!!

I’m now blogging from my cousin’s house I Johor. Getting back to KL was fun. To smell of home and the warmness of home is comforting and brings back old time memories. I wake up at 1130am and on that morning I found out that my father had planted watermelon in my back yard.

Just want to share with you the feeling of coming back home after 4month. Every time I come back home I’ll feel a fixture of happiness and fear. Why fear? Because I fear that I’ll fall back to the old lifestyle that I was before. The atmosphere at home is so conducive, simple and worry free (as parents are always there) that will cause me to go into complacent and not relying on Him.. Most of the time I will skip the daily devotion and start off the day with computer and music. I really don’t like the lifestyle when I’m back home. But still I need to grow up and learn to make the change and stand up to honour Him!!

I was away for the blogging world as I have put all my resources onto the upcoming CF mission trip to Pengkalan Hulu. As I was one of the leader in this trip, along the journey to the day we set off to Pengkalan Hulu, I’ve encounter many challenges. I can assure you it is true that there are forces at work as we are doing God’s work, forces which want to destroy and to discourage us from doing God’s will on earth. Now the mission trip itself is over but the identity of us as a missionary and God’s disciples are not over!!

To encourage those whom are serving full time and those who are doing God’s will on earth, I want to share to you my experience in this mission trip. As I have heart from many pastor and people who went for mission trip who has seen God’s glory firsthand. As they prayed, miracles happen and wonderful things that displayed his glory can be seen through this experience. People speaking who are mute bust out into words as the team worshiped God at the front!

As I said, as we prepare for mission trip, there were many challenges that I face. I can tell I’ve experience heavy feelings, feeling of letting go, can’t sleep well at night, falling sick and some time felt of jumping down from a building. But thank God that His love is amazing and his provision is sufficient to get me through. He had sent me an angel that open up her ears to listened to the problem that I face. I believe that she has been praying for me constantly. Even now she is praying for me. Through her I’ve learned of Jesus’ love because she has seen many of my ugly side and still she helped me. Felt so pai seh!!

Doing church work is more of a people-people thing which some time can be stressful as each individual has their own like and dislike. In many time I find it very hard to balance up what we call “being friendly or being strict”. At the end of the day, the team has given positive response and I believe is not because of me but it is the doing of Jesus which is instilled in them!! Thank God!!

Another thing was what amazed me and this experience or encounter with the creator will be my treasure for me for times to come!! It was raining when we visited the native that was living on the Temengung Lake (Banding Island), as we visited the 2^nd island, the dark clouds started to build up on our heads. Little that we realise after some song singing and some skits, the rain started to pore down on the place. For the people it was a rain of blessing as it has been 2 days there was no rain. Without noticing, there was peace despite the rain and the dark cloud that was present and the amount of electrical gadgets that I was carrying in my bag! After some few minuets, Pastor Loh whom is the pastor who led us in this mission trip told the head man of the village that we have to move out from the islands even it was raining. Then out of the sudden, I spoke out and told her “give us 5 minuets” then I’ve asked some of the team who was there to come together in prayer and in spirit to ask the God who made the world into existence to stop the rain for us as we made our way back to the jetty and head back to Pengkalan Hulu. The team was of my utmost priority as I don’t want them to fall sick and being wet along a 1 and the half hours journey back. After some few minuets, the rain stopped, in no sense that the rain will stop if given logic and God has displayed His glory to the team!!

I was not me I believe that spoke out to Pastor Loh and called the team to come in prayer to ask the help from God to stop the rain. I believe it was the Holy Spirit that is working in me. In my own ways, if one would ask I’ll react by being nervous but this time I was not the case!! And I thank God!

I wan to say thanks to the team who has being a great support in this mission trip. Every mission trip is different as God chose to show different side of Him!! Thank God also for his sufficient provision on this creaked pot for His glory!!

All glory to Jesus Christ our God and our Lord!!