The Time Is NOW!

It has been some time since I’ve updated my blog. A lot has change & happened also since then. Ups & downs. But most of it is downs.

During the 1month holidays, I was needed to attend a training in the so to call jungle which god has shown me a great deal about life by using the most unexpected thing. He uses the ants to teach me about forgiveness. He uses the situation that I experience to teach me to perseverance, to hold on. From it I also got to know that I’m not 'strong' so to call because I'm very uneasy with uncertainty. I needed to know facts. Thankful enough, god has been faithful & full of his unfailing grace, has pull me out from my breaking point which I almost enter the state of depression. Yes, I’m a person who is very vulnerable to depression and stress/tension. I'll get freak out when things happen unexpectedly.

After the training that I had, I went home for my university semester holidays. I didn't spend sufficient time with my family members. But 1thing for sure is that, I’ve spend about rm1000 in Just 2days I went out to LowYat plaza as I also on the mission to build a computer rig for my dearest 2ndnarry school friend. The money I spend on was an ADSL wireless router, battery charger, DVD burners and lots more so to better the computer at home.

I then went to HUGE camp which was in Malacca. The intention I go for this camp was to catch up with the youth of my church as it has been 3years of my life I spend in my studies at the north of Malaysia 1year in Kedah and 2years in USM Eng Campus. Really get the honour to interact with them. The sad part for this camp is that I was the oldest among all the campers! Other then youth pastor or leader! I was shock to here them talking about girls in the camp, which is hot or not. For me I some how find it funny. I also came to realise that I was once like them talking about girls, getting their numbers and of cause hoping to start a relationship... But now as I grow up I know what to look for in a life time partner. I may not know every thing in the search of the life partner, but I trust god will tell me as I walk the walk of life. It true that there are pretty & god loving ones their, but GG is the 1. I got to shear my experience as a university student to some of the youth as they just finished their SPM and STPM. I'm really happy and thankful for what has happen to me in the past as what I says in Romans 8:28 "28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." God is good! I was touch by the camp in a way of the worship and the sermon sheared so recover from my depression. I had to leave the camp early as i have to go back to campus to start my new semester.

I started off the new semester with a heavy heart. The result that I got for the last semester was not as I’ve expected. I was having self conflict. Why I got this kind of result thus finding the reason why I didn't eel thankful for the result I got. But true enough, god has answered my cries & saw my helplessness. I was selfish!

I was supposed to go back to KL during Christmas week conjunction with my birthday. I was planning to go for my church youth camp which is the first after 3 or more years. But since I forgot to buy bus ticket home, I stayed back in campus. I had fun during the week end which I get to joint PBBC on their trip to Pangkalan Hulu to deliver some goods to the church over there to help the orang asli there. I fell into the drain then where was a good experience for me!! It was being Christmas and birthday present for me. That day I drove back to campus from Pangkalan Hulu to take over Max’s place with the van which is the longest I’ve ever driven. That night we went to Miss Kooh’s house for their open house which was very “filling”. The food they served was beyond words!! After that we went to PBBC to have a Christmas service which the church ordered 1000 sticks of satay. I only manage to eat not more then 10 sticks!!

On my birthday, I got invitation for breakfast. We went to eat tim sum somewhere in Parit Buntar. Well, it was kind of touching to think back now. I celebrated my birthday with my CF friends and in the afternoon with my dear classmate. Why? Because I only receive 1 birthday cake, compare to my other friends. I guess it’s a bit of mix feeling as I was happy because I manage to hide my birthday and sad because no one know about it (now as you can see I’m a very complicated guy, keep on contradict myself).

In conjunction with charismas on the 25^th and the 2007 New Year, our CF had a Christmas celebration a.k.a. Thanks Giving on the 28^th. I jointed the decoration team to decorate the lecture hall on the night of the event. By now I know it is not easy to decorate. Sze-Lyn which was the decoration coordinator and the event secretary worked day and night to finish up the snow flicks and stuff!! Really have respect for her as she was really putting effort to make this event a success and seeing her work her heart out and trusting god along the way!! How I wish…. I skipped some class along the way. On the day of the event we were allow to decorate the hall few hours before the event starts. Imagine we had to think of what we need before hand and if we some how miss out some thing we will have a big time solving it (of cause the problem didn’t occur). But I’m really blessed to help in a way in the decoration for that night. I got to learn about trusting others and being slow to anger!

Well on New Year, I manage to buy my ticket back home to KL. Well thanks to Kin Lee who reminded me and Max Ting for buying the ticket at the last minute. If wasn’t for him, I don’t think I can get back. It was my second time going back to KL at night. I had to call my parents to pick me up from Pudu Bas Station I reach KL around 3am. Really malu to call them up in the middle of the night from their sleep. I spend time with my friends back in KL. We went to Domes, TGI Fridays and some other place. Those friends are my dear friends are Ernest, Fook Sim & Alwin How. Really want to thank them for their friendship!

As the weekend holiday was not long, I was back in campus after 3days. Didn’t really rest during the holidays and was hoping to start the semester with new hope and a new image. I’ve experience God for myself. If I were to find god in the tree, I would worship it. But now I’ve found God. The God that shows His endless grace, mercy and forgiveness flowing in my life.

Throughout my life as it has been, a lot has happen. Going Through the ups and the downs. I’m still struggle in knowing who am I, learning to walk right in God’s way, learning to have self control, leaning to say thank you when been given compliments and more. But one thing for sure God has made his way in my life.

“The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:2-3