“it has been some time now since I’ve blog…” are the common words that one will use after long time of not blogging!! I’ve use this line as well. I really miss writing down how I feel online, I guess I’ve lost few things after my real work started last January! Some of the stuff I miss are, photography, blogging and odd enough reading! The reality is that I've not manage my time well!

I’ve shifted to Johor Bahru to work as a project engineer in a sanitary landfill. Well just a short intro it is where all your rubbish will end up after the lorry pick up from your house! So you basically will get to see everyday household waste! Not speaking about the smell that comes from it!

The working world is something really different form my student days! So for those people who went through their industrial training, maybe you wont feel the full force of office politics and others as we are just student. But if you do, it’s a look into reality!

Reality is what we need to face every day in this fast changing world. But remember, noting is new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Reality to me is that I’ve to face my boss and the reality is that I must be sure with the decisions that I say and must be able to give a good reason to back it all up!

I’ve been facing reality and not every can take and suck it all up and I’m no exception! True is hard and often I felt like giving up! But I know where my strength come from, its not by my power or my might but it is by the spirit of the Lord! The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Praying for my fellow technicians and my managers are not a simple task. But if I, as a Christian give up on this people, how will they know true LOVE? Why God would not just take us away once we are save? The Reality is that we need to say die to self! But life to the spirit!

The reality is that Jesus Is Lord! You are forever! You are Lord over all!

It has been a downward spiral for me in these resent days… A fall which I will come back to look for me. Questions of human relationships and self reflection have driven me to a stage where I can not trust myself. My spiritual life was fluctuating as such of the world economy. Just some time I need a big hit from others on the face!

Was chatting with one of my close friend the other day online and here is the conversation (Below are the real conversation without anything hidden).

Me: anyway... u do what is needed to be done la... sorry if i've been an ass to u.... jz to assure u tat i'm doing my best... not taking u guys for granted... thank for all the help.... sorry and thank u..

Me: cant do much for u... cz i 'm worst than u... do bear in mind tat my png is jz 2.33 :(

TT: ?okay.. really need to study. but actually i got a feeling you dont have confidence in yourself.. Abit of advice la. dun care la wat other ppl think.. *i nvr thought or say ur an ass b4 and nvr will. i believe u have a stand. ur principle. watever it is, stick to it, be confident wiv it. ppl will respsct you for your stand. im not sure to how much is the extend you belive dat Gods controling your destiny, but you control your destiny too. okay so you have pointer below 3 but so wat? do something about it then.. show others you can make it above 3 too.

TT: you dun have to thank me le.. the truth is ur a nice person.. always trying to keep others happy, taking care of others.. however ur studies is not so gud.. not fair rite? sure is.. there are ppl who feel sorry for you.. but for how long?do you want them to keep on feeling sympatethic to you? of course not rite.. so time to make a change man.. focus on ur studiees come out top dis year..

Some time its sucks with life. But hey, how can the day come before the night or night before the day?

Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

*Everything has been random in this post. As I'm saying my mind out with unrelated topic all in the same moment. But the Psalms concludes it all...

Thank God and Little Potato.

Series of event have left my world turn outside down. Well, at times I really think I’m better off die and burn in hell… why on earth a God that is so big want to save a person like me? Why? Why can’t he just make a new person and once and for all just take away the sins of this world. Some time still can’t understand the face that Jesus died for me on the cross. for whatever reason you chose me not to sing, I accept it as how you accepted me

God, my Lord, You are crazy,
Thanks for giving me life and teach me to live life to the fullest and teach me to use what you gave me to make your name be shown. It’s not about popularity or to let people see I’m good. But it’s to say die to myself and to follow what your will for me. Don’t want to live in my own world. Let my worship be an extension of what is happening inside of me God. Dare to die and to face problems face to face and not be a chicken. Teach me to love my brother and sister around me so that we can worship you together. To love how you have loved us Lord. To call you Lord I once again in my sinful nature lay it all down for you.

In Jesus’ name Amen

Reminds me of this song

Once Again

Verse 1
Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing, poured out to death
Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again

Chorus
And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Verse 2
Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I marvel at Your saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

Bridge
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross, my Friend

Lord, how can I live for you? you are the voice that speak to me…. How can I give up my all to honour you to live to love you, to live to bring you praise, to live to be a child to follow you? For you alone are worthy Lord. May my soul bless your name always Lord.

As I surrender the relationship at hand into your name, I pray that what ever I do and what ever we say be pleasing unto your name as we know each other and to know your will in our life. Lord please show us a sure answer to what is in front of us…

May we be those whom you would used in your plans