Down & Under

Most people at less have a close friend around them to share what they are going through. In return the feeling of trust is there as you share your problem with them. Even if they don’t share their problem, you still feel thankful for this friend.

As I know how good is to have this kind of friend around me all the time, now I’m missing this kind of close friend relationship. Tell you all readers; I’m still in search of this friend of mind. Before this I thought that I could just share my problems with anyone beside me. But I was wrong.

As a result now I’m feeling really downcast. In the bible it is said that in Genesis 4:5 it its last part, Cain was downcast because he was angry with his brother Abel. (I got this msg from Sunday service) well, now I’m angry with my self!! I really hate for who I am. I’m talking about my flash part, surely god has bless me with all kind of skill but I’m still the sinful person which I’m now!! Why can’t I change for the better? Just today I ate with Max Ting, and guess what the word I said to him really upset him!! since we are friend.. One will know if a person is upset. Is this kind of SHIT that I don’t want to have in me. i guess he has forgiven me but the fact that i dont forgive my self is making me feel as such... Sorry for being so rood!!

I suck in my studies compare to others!! I suck with relationship!! All this really bother me.. Problems which I don’t have anyone to share to!!

I’m sure you would remember China; they used to have the best armada on the seas. After an instant, China close it’s door to the world and it was shown by the government burning all the Chinese ships that was on it water.

I’m now in the brake of shutting myself to the world around me. And I don’t want that. The reason I’m saying this is because I’m really desperate. in short, i've no other people to turn to to talk about my problems. Sorry for all the rood words used in this blog entry. Do keep me in your prayers.. Really sorry!!