Setting off I would like to call this blog entry. So today later 715am, I’ll be off to my Palapes training program starting today till the 3^rd of December 2007. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to blog one or two more entry before I get into the jungle on the 25^th November till the 1^st December. Well first things first. Yesterday I made my way back to campus by bus. And it took me RM53.60 to Parid Buntar, just because I went into the wrong bus. The feeling of going back to campus has already weight me down as all of my other friends are enjoying their holidays being relax, recharge and of cause become lazy. Now here I’m am joining activities as Palapes which I’ve to sacrifice almost my whole holiday for it. I told some of my close friend that I’m really sad at such conditions. But thank God I’m able to snap out of this sadness and I also pray that with God’s given strength, I will continue on the things that I’m doing and not give up.

As the bus left KL, I really felt disconnected and so on. There were a lot of things that I planed to do this holidays such as meet up with friends, visit my new church building and most of all spend some time with my family members. Oh ya, forgot to mention that I was hoping to go to the bookshops such as MPH, Kinikunia or borders, buy a really good book and then sit at starbuks and coffeebeen to drink and read. And yet again time is limited… Hay~~

Another thing that I learned today is that is not easy to sew. It took me 3hours to sew both side of may name on the army uniform. With the needle poking here and there on my finger

Do continue to pray for me as I go for the Palapes training

I would like to recap what I’ve been through in this pass semester especially on my emotional point of view.

The starting of the semester for me was a rough one. Really rough one. Emotions were fluctuating just because I let it controlled by the situation and environment. As I’ve learn life are made up of choices that we make. These choices that we make will determine the outcome of the decision we make. But bare in mind the things that happen around us I believe has been approve by God, because every thing that we do and happen are done for the good of those who love them!!

Then I choose to go with my emotions. At a time you could see me talking aloud and the next you could see me sit at the side and being silent, switch off and cut off. Some time things can get lots worst with anger come into the picture. In other words I snap very easily. At these times I do constantly pray and cry under my pillow on my bed and express my carelessness on my actions I’ve done. I can’t cry aloud as my room mates are always in my room. I was blank and blur on what to do. Questions of life start pop-ing up on my head. Why, how, when and who and such bombard me day and night.

On September I was a turning point, I joined Time Out and then I saw my miss take and my carelessness. Of cause with the realisation, I need time to readjust and recalibrate what I’ve reflected and learn during Time Out. Committing all back to him. All that I’m I give back to him.

To this date I’m who I’m and thanks to the people around me and what he has provided. On the 18^th of September I experience what every guy experience and I thank God for the experience. Because I did not impact me much as god has assure me before that date. Now I’m happy and glade and of cause hoping that he will provide

Well I’m happy to be back home finally in KL. But I still miss Starbaks and Coffeebeen!?!?! Didn’t really get the chance to hang out there as time is limited here.

I came back here on Tuesday after a day trip to a small town name Tapah in Perak. Before I forget I would like to say thanks to Miss Janesse Chee for her help of taking her ride back to her house. According to her, before her family shifted to a real house, she was living on trees. Whoever own a sampan are consider to be rich!?!? Wawawa… I kind of like the place there as it’s a small town, lots of greens and most of all the peaceful. One thing for sure that Miss Chee though me in this trip was, you can actually walk around the whole town without needing transportation!! The sad part of this town is that, there is a population gap. A gap that put this town in risk of becoming a ghost town. There are too many old people here while their suns and daughter set off to big city such as Kuala Lumpur, Ipoh and Penang. The only thing that keeping this town running I think is Cameron Highlands. Tapah is at the foot hill of Cameron Highlands and one of the road lead there.

Tapah is a cool and wonderful place, then my trusty camera was on standy for me to take picture of that place… But I was not ready to do so.. Should I say “no balls” wawaw.. But I will snap!!

I reach the federal territory around 3pm. There were no jams thank God for that!! After reaching, took an LRT back home. Rest for awhile, by this I mean switching on the computer and enjoy the high speed internet back home.

Then it started to rain. Let me tell you, the thunder and lightning and thunder occur very much often compare to the place such as my campus. Really scary to hear and to see flashes here and there. Well back to the story, went back home and rest and went out again to KL Central to pass I/C to my friend in campus as he is leaving back home in Sarawak. As I took LRT during rush hour, I notice the authorities manage to control the crowds by having people line up and wait for their turn to hop on the packed train. I was stun that Malaysia are capable of learning and they learn really fast!! I guess, Malaysian are not so impolite after all!! Just that some time we need to learn to be such.. :)

Anyway as my time here in home, many things happen. Such as, my sister drove me back from LRT station. I’m so proud of her?!?! Wawawa… ok here comes the sad part, remember the Proton Waja with leather sitting, and with upgrade stereo sound system which is cool? It has been involve in an accident. The whole driver’s door have to be replaced and I’m very sad right now.

Ok!! This I think will be my last entry for the time that I’ll be at home. A lot has happen and with limited time (ok,ok.. all the time I was youtubing, friendstering and not forgetting slepping!!) wish more tome to be back home and be lazy.

Amen, thank God that I’ve finish all my exams paper for this semester. I’m now clouded with mix feelings, feeling of unsure, and uncertain in my life.

Some time I tend to wonder, life always brings worries upon worries. Is as this case, before the exam, one will then to be worry on what question will the lecture post during exam. Worries such as “I cant finish this chapter.. What if it come out I exam?” are not far away. After the exam has pass, worries of how will my result will turn out to be? I’ve few friends that has graduate from university, as soon as they graduate. They worry about their job. After getting a job, worries at the working place due to work pressure.

Do you guys getting what I’m saying here? As the rock at the sea side, those rocks are constantly being hit with wave upon wave. Their no stopping the waves at sea. It’s a continuous process. Bit by bit, little by little, but surely this rocks that is constantly hit by this wave will be shaped. This in geological term is called corrosion or weathered rocks. In the same way, as we look at our life. The way we think and the way we act are sometime been shaped by this constant wave of worries.

I’m still learning to deal with the waves of worry in life. Not running away from it because this is not what Christ has tough is how to live. At most occasion this worries of mind has resulted in anger. With anger in the place there is no self-control. You can believe me; I can do a lot of bad things when I’m angry. Emotion of mind will then fluctuate up and down. This will affect the people around us!

Remember the time in the bible where Jesus told the wave and the wave and wind to stop (matt8:26). He was cool with it. Not worrying because he has seen the big picture. Jesus was not bother about it because he knows that God is always with him. Knowing that He is God’s only son. Now that we know that we are all sons and daughter still most of the time I fail to realise that the fact is God will take care of us. Because Jesus himself said this to us in the bible:

^“30Therefore if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much rather clothe you, little-faiths? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, what shall we eat? Or, what shall we drink? Or, with what shall we be clothed? ³² For the nations seek after all these things. For your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things.”

Matthew 6:30-32

And no just looking what we want to see. In the following passage Jesus also said:

^“33But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.”

Matthew 6:33

I’m still learning. So my God, I need to be with you. Because all that I’m, is from you. Please make me into the person that you want me to be a person that will glorify your name as I live up my life that you have freely give to me. Here I ask you for your guidance and your wisdom to fall on me so that I can carry myself well before you. Lord I also pray that you will continue to assure me that you are with me always. I want to be near to you. Thank you Lord.

Amen!

Why

Why

Why…?

Miss one simple question for design exam just now. One 12marks question could make a difference in my result. Who knows? Stress now. To strive for the upcoming 4 unit paper