Empty..

Past weekend was our uni’s covo week… I went to KKJ’s convo which was on Saturday. Rushed to Main campus after Time Out..

Chaos was the word to describe the moment then. As friends, family with their toddlers running around, some of the hip onto their fathers shoulder to take a look at their close ones. As they look on I wonder what they are thinking of then? Some of them cried, some of them even taking their nap. While the small ones do their stuff, the big one holds on to their mobile phone. Some talk aloud some just did speak a word as they wait anxiously for the person on the other hand to pick up. For the girls in the crowd, one could see a wave of fanning of the paper “kipas” with varieties of colour. For those who are wiser, they make their way to the side to rest their lag. Photographers armed with their equipment and their sturdy finger ready to shoot stand by the side as to wait upon the exit of the newly graduates from the main hall after the receiving of the graduation slip. As some photographer wait on, some click on to capture the moment around them. Guards watch over, as to keep things safe and in check. Cars for the VIPs queue back to back and stand by to go when ever they are asked.

As the undergraduates stepped out from the hall, joy and laughter can be felt from their expression. The pain that they went through in their years of studies paid off. WE HAVE MADE IT! In their hearts they shout. In the picture, they were no room for tears among them that my eyes could see. Only laughter, smiles, joy and happiness covered it all.

We laugh, made jokes with our graduate seniors, asking how their life has after study, and how working life is so on so forth. The volume of our voice was at our peak as every one was excited and seeking attention from the listener, but it this chaos, our voice just sink into the background as we were not the only one there. The CF members prayed for most of out seniors that we could find among the fuss and rush of the event. Pictures were taken countless time among ourselves and the graduate seniors.

As the sky opened itself to the night, one by one the crowd leave the place. Going back with packs and packs of gift from their dear friend not forgetting the flowers and the little teddy bear on them…

After all this, I though in my heart; am I going to be like them? Am I going to experience this alone as all my friends experience this before me? What If I don’t make it? As I we were praying for the graduate seniors, I was hoping to receive the same prayer. Am I going to receive it?

I cried deep in my heart as this thought go through me. Shouting as loud as I can in me. I was feeling happy for the people around me. All the things I do I do it them. Now in this time of my life, this though of “what about me?” “myself?” and so on just sudden arise from nowhere. Making me a vegetable….

Lord I Pray this prayer unto to you and to you alone. Aman.