Wake up afresh, seek his face and commit everything to him. For He is my Lord my God!

²⁴ I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.

Mark 11:24 (NLT)

The fight has finally paid off as I’m well and better than ever! Thank God for his sufficient provision onto this life of mind! He is truly wonderful as it is written. Thank God for providing an angel, who blessed me and watch over me and helped me in the litter things. Just don’t know how to thank this angel and be a blessing to this angel. Once again I thank God for everything!!

I struggle in my sleep yesterday night, I woke and slept and wake up again for several time. The dream was so real that I was surrounded by paper works. It was cold and I was not feeling well.

God has displayed his greatness and His faithfulness in sustaining me. I proclaim that His power is sufficient. Amen!!

After 3years in Palapes… I finally we got to try on our commission uniform. This is after all the hard work and all the suffering of training that we as a team undergo.

Even it was hard to go through mental torture such as one would have to stay awake till 3am and wake up at 6am which this cycle will go on for 1week which some of the few suffering we undergo.

The salt produce from out sweat has turn into joy! And this joy is sweet and will be a memory of our university life which I’m proud of!

This is not yet the complete uniform…

As always it is my tradition in this blog to wish those who turn one year older. So this time around on the 26^th Jan 2006 it is someone’s big birthday!

As the clock strikes 12 midnight, I would like to say happy birthday to Tan Sze-Lyn (TS-L) a.k.a. Rasaksa so what I can tell you about her? Well she is a girl (duh….) which is very creative in the things that she does. To this moment after knowing her, she can turn what you call ugly, and trash into some thing beautiful. She is good in arts and she is also good in hand works. And currently she is trying on the field of photography. I can tell you she has the potential.

She is also be funny if you really get to know her, she is very specific in the things that she eats. Above she is a person that is caring.

If one would to know her more than just skin deep, one will see that she can make lame joke all the way. So hope she will enjoy her birthday!!

Happy Birthday

Here is a classic one!!

In every thing that I do, as I care for the people I some time will evolve into a state of over reliant on that some one. I some time overshadow God’s love with my own strength on the person. But God is always faithful, He always snaps me out of this situation by reminding me that He is in control.

This mistake has caused me my friendship. This friendship was a valuable one but just because of one mistake. Things will never be the same after each incident. I’ve done this mistake once and now I pray that I’ll not repeat this mistake again.

Pondering on my future, I ask myself this question “what am I going to be after university? With the result I have, am I going to be successful in the working world?” these are just the starting part of my questioning. The scariest question is yet to come. It sounds like this “are you ready to face the broken, crocket, sinful, fallen world outside?” As I ponder this questions on my bed, as I take walk along the long corridor which leaded from my school to the hostel or maybe some time as I jog around the campus, this scary question always pop up into my mind. I’m rally hunted by the world and the fear of following the world as we see now

Tell you the truth, I’m not those people who can stand and face pressure face to face. I’m a person that has very little self confident where with this I can be pushed around. If you know me well enough, one will notice this. But I’m very strict when it comes to my faith on The One who made the heaven and the earth. But still there is a potential of me falling. That is why I want to thank God for his constant faithfulness and His unfailing love that covers multitude of sin.

Coming back to the notion, I’m really sad when I heard one of my friend told me that she will be planning to go for a long term mission trip after her final year I her studies. “WOW!” I can only say. I’m sad not because she is going for mission trip but I’m sad because when I compare to her plans of going for a mission trip while I was planning to go climb Mount KK in Sabah. As I compare, I realise that I was not looking to do His work. Don’t get me wrong. Going for holiday is not wrong as we need time for ourselves oh. But the problem is that I was not putting priority on Him. If I was to lay down my life and put aside my selfish desire as it is in Matthew 16:24-26 like what I always clamed I do, I would look for opportunities to glorify His name. Like this little friend here, she went all out to find opportunities to do so.

This friend of mine is not any friend, she is very successful in her studies and most important is that she love God and she look to Him for inspiration and as far as knowing her she always uphold her life into His hand and she told me many time that she is willing to go where God leads her. And many times she has done what she says! And I can only thank God for His work on her life.

At times words come very easy (as I always believe, but word in the same time can be powerful), but when words are compliment by action is a very powerful. I believe is even more powerful that words that used at the right time and place. Action speaks louder than words.

So here I’m going to make a pubic statement that I will not regret.

“Lord,

As I’m your servant, I lay down my life unto you hands which I have. I’ve been superficial in most of my doings and saying. As what I’ve sung unto You “let the things I say and do be founded by my faith in you” I don’t want to be just words but Lord I pray that You will empower me to do so as I give and surrender all to You! You are strong when I’m a my weakest and Lord I pray that You will use my flaws and weakness to honour name. people will see that it is all about You and not from me. As I’ve my own desire and my hope and dreams, I just lay it all down to You as my Lord. Teach me your ways, open up my eyes and let me see Your plans. Lord Jesus, I also want to pray that I’ll be able to answer to Your call but before that I pray that You will give me ears that can hear your voice, the voice of the Father. As I listen, I pray that I’ll answer to Your call with on question asked. May I be the one who You will use Your plans! In Jesus name I pray.

Amen!”

Today after CF I took a long walk myself and really walk slow as to listen to the things around me. Oh ya I almost lost my watch where I left my watch at the DK where CF was at. I took my roommate’s motor to DK and taken it back. After doing so, I ridded aimlessly around campus, to be precise, I took two rounds around campus with the speed at 20 km/hr.

What has kept me going through the day was God’s strength. This song constantly plays in my mind even when I’m blur, tired and in frustration.

The song’s chorus says “In You in You I find my peace, In You in You I find my strength, In You I live and move and breathe, Let everything I say and do, Be founded by my faith in You, I lift up holy hands and sing, Let the praises ring!”

So I want to share this song that really got me going! Thank God for everything!

Let The Praises Ring
Lincoln Brewster

Verse 1:

Oh Lord my God in You I put my trust

Oh Lord my God in You I put my hope

Oh Lord my God in You I put my trust

Oh Lord my God in You I put my hope

Chorus:

In You in You I find my peace

In You in You I find my strength

In You I live and move and breathe

Let everything I say and do

Be founded by my faith in You

I lift up holy hands and sing

Let the praises ring!

Verse 2:

Oh Lord my God to You I give my hands

Oh Lord my God to You I give my feet

Oh Lord my God to You I give my everything

Oh Lord my God to You I give my life

©2002 Integrity's Praise! Music
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

I’m drinking ink! It’s is good!

Today is a very special day. Yes it’s anniversary time, a time to celebrate. To celebrate my girlfriend?? Oh no, how I wish I have her.. It’s the 3rd ever anniversary on my blogging on blogosphere. My first entry was made on the 23^rd Jan 2005!

Thanks to Jun Yi, who introduce me to blogspot on one faithful night when we were trying ti get connected with the outside world on an IBM computer system in the computer lab of the hostel of the Matriculation College where I was studying.

I was place in a place called Changloon in Kedah which is a very small town then which one can explore the town in just 30 min as the shops and stalls are all along the main road. And I’m thankful now when I look back on this and I praise god for this! Not mentioning of travelling back to Kuala Lumpur takes around 5 hours and the most important thing is that the feeling of a city boy who was raise up in an jam pack city full with economics and commercial activity been suddenly cut off and place in such a kampung area.

Enough of the history, the main reason I started off this blog is to let you readers see living in a small town which little people know about isn’t so bad after all! With the posting of my first entry comes the ever growing love in photography together with my purchase of my 1^st camera! One can notice that my title for the blog is “College Life” and with the tag line of “The life of a student whom was sent to a university (used to be college changed it into “university” after entering USM) somewhere north of Malaysia. Since pictures are worth more than words, so take a peek into my life as I paint it with lots of pictures just for you so that HIS name may shine in this crack pot's life.”

I started off my blogging with what I call “picture blogging” more picture less of words where I always believed and still believe that picture speaks a thousand words some time it speaks more than that. But through out the 3 years, it evolved into a blog that contains more words than pictures. In the process I found out more of myself as I write my story down for you readers and the ways God has blessed me and the people around me. In this way, one could see how God has shaped me into the person that He want me to be and to shine His glory. In my weakness He is he strongest.

As to mark the starting of the 4^th year of this blog, I have decided to change the title of “College Life” into “Nothing But His Servant” and with a tag line of “He is strong when I’m at my weakest. Peek into my life as I paint it with lots of pictures and colourful words so that HIS name may shine in this Cracked Pot's life”.

The reason why I’ve made this change is because I realise that it is not all about me but it is all about Him!

With her Boy-Boy

Today is my sister angkat’s birthday!! Happy birthday Sui Ying! As I’m typing this down, she is eating with her boy-boy some where in Malaysia. Oops, I’m giving up secret information oh.

Ya let me tell you one thing about her. She is not mistaken she is cute and very friendly. That is why she has a boy-boy lah. The piano is where she is at best but when combine with her voice it is more than excellent! She is caring once you know her personally.

Obviously with the limited vocabulary I’ve, I don’t think what I’ve describe of her is enough (not even 1%). I also want to say thank you as she has helped me in my problem and in my darkest day. Those were the day I was a walking an unstable bomb which can trigger anytime. She helped me through to the person that I’m now.

Thank You Sui Ying

Lord,

As today is Sui Ying’s birthday, I want to uphold her into your hand. As it is not by chance You have place her in the place that she’s in and the time she is at, she is here and now for a reason. As she ponder at her past year and look into your future, I pray Lord I pray that lord she will see your glory and your love that has ever there for her. And when she looks into her future, I pray that she won’t be worried but lay it all down to You and will ever rely on you oh God!! Guide and bless her as she lives this life for You.

Amen!

Just want to share this picture with you all. If anyone of you can shuffle this picture, it will tell you much about me.

A lot of ups and down has happen along the weekend as I prepare for the mission trip which is a much taught job as I started off with just words and I did not really any REAL material to reefer to.

“Yesterday was my peak where I suddenly bust out my frustration in front of an angel that God has place in my life, when I was suppose to just pass her a letter concerning to Mission Trip. Then I felt I was working like a dog where I was asked to start everything from the bottoms up and how am I suppose to be like the previous mission trip coordinator which also start from nothing? I did not get good result as the person but instate I score only 2.44PNG for the last semester!! What nonsense when this statement was made in front of me! Total nonsense and such ignorant!!”

I felt sorry for this angel, which took in more than I wrote on this blog! She saw my ugly side which few have saw! I hope she can forget and this ugly side of me will not haunt her.

Thanks God as she has reminded me that I’m not doing this work for man but for his kingdom which eternal. And there is a reason why I became the coordinator for this mission trip. The best thing of all when she reminded me was that I’m a Creak Pot which God will use for His glory.

As tonight is the mission trip meeting, I pray that you oh lord will guide the team to have a heart for mission and most of all open up our eyes to see you face to face. Also lord let us learn what you want us to learn in this trip as we know that you have different plans and purpose for us! Amen!!

Dating aback this entry on Friday which is on the 18^th Jan 2008 due to no internet connection.

Not exactly what the picture portrays but it is some thing like that.

May be is my mistake to be to close and have the assumption of “I’ll cover your back and you cover my back if any of us run into problems” or may be I’m being very complacent with the people around me.

Dating back to the starting of the semester, I have heard some of my friends who were having the problem in their fellowship circle. What kind of problem? Well, it’s the problem where the people in the fellowship just say “I love you and I’ll care for you” but after saying that they just go about their own stuff (what I mean is the self centeredness). What is though to be your own business is your own and I’ll not and don’t care for it.

It is this people that I care for and this is what I get in return? Have I made them complacent in their life? If it is such, I’ve fail. I’ve fail badly and fall hard!

Lord, teach me to forgive them as I don’t know how to deal with the feelings that I’m having now.

I’m now i'm ok as I post this entry on this blog as God has been faithful to me personally. Amen!!

I’m a Cracked pot!

Parable of the Great Feast

¹⁵ Hearing this, a man sitting at the table with Jesus exclaimed, “What a privilege it will be to attend a banquet in the Kingdom of God!”

¹⁶ Jesus replied with this story: “A man prepared a great feast and sent out many invitations. ¹⁷ When the banquet was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests, ‘Come, the banquet is ready.’ ¹⁸ But they all began making excuses. One said, ‘I have just bought a field and must inspect it. Please excuse me.’ ¹⁹ Another said, ‘I have just bought five pairs of oxen, and I want to try them out. Please excuse me.’ ²⁰ Another said, ‘I now have a wife, so I can’t come.’

²¹ “The servant returned and told his master what they had said. His master was furious and said, ‘Go quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and invite the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.’ ²² After the servant had done this, he reported, ‘There is still room for more.’ ²³ So his master said, ‘Go out into the country lanes and behind the hedges and urge anyone you find to come, so that the house will be full. ²⁴ For none of those I first invited will get even the smallest taste of my banquet.’”

Luke 14:15-24 (NLT)

I heard this message last Sunday in church. Am I ignoring, what is my privilege?

“As always Lord do use me in Your own ways Lord. Despite the problem that I face and always in the state of inadequate and falling short of your holiness I know that You still love me and have given me opportunities to shine Your glory in this life that You have given me to live. Teach me Your ways and do teach me to know You more and experience Your love and Glory and holiness in this life.”

May I be the one that You use in Your Plans!!

Have you ever felt that some time LIFE just get the hell out of you and some time it just eat up your soul. Things just don’t go our ways.

When it comes to happy time friends are just there at the right time, and when the bad things comes, all are gone just by a puff.

It is this that some time cause me to think and wonder “it is better to sit a side and be quiet and look at the people around and see what are they doing"

Have you notice on how God use the people around to bring glory to His name? Dating back to my last entry entitle Equilibrium, some time God place people in our life, people which serve a purpose and from that after the purpose is served, another person will come along to continue on.

Why do I say this? One of the reasons is that we are all made and have different character and it is said in the Bible that is we are all unique and all are made for his purpose.

If one would have to look closely, one will notice people will appear and disappear in life. Be it Christian or non Christian. And it is through this strange method that God’s glory is been done.

To prove this point, try looking back into the pass, ponder for a moment one will find that we have made best of friends and you would notice that some you have loss contact and by looking forward, one will find that we are surrounded by friends and some of them are our buddies. Soon after a this stage of life (change of environment be it in college or work place) one will find some of them fade away into a distance.

Just a thought

Ever since CF Christmas Night 07’, a lot has happen. Pictures of many events are still waiting to be process (due to the poor photography skill I have) God has been faithful to me and i believe everyone around me also!!

Here are some peek into what I’m going to post on my multiply photo site.

New Year at SuiYing’s

Mission trip sharing And Bible Study Introduction

Meeting Mr. Angkasawan and MainCampus Palapes reunion

Civil Night 08’

I’ve been always from blogsphear for some time now as I had to deal with some of the stuff that I was onto along the pass month. Without realising anything it has been 1month since the campus reopen. And it has been tow week since the New Year!! So I think it’s time for an update.

1. In this one month period since the semester started, I’ve snap around 5Giga Bytes worth of picture, given tolerances of 100Mb. My newly bought hard disk which I allocated 30 GB of space just for picture now only 10 GB of space remaining.

2. I’m still struggling in learning His ways and most of all relying on him as a whole!!

I guess I’ve learn a lot for the people around me. The type of people I meet and stuff. I am glad that I’ve grown up in learning to keep up with myself. I also have input in my personal life (if I were to share out it won’t be that personal after all right??) He has provided an angel to take care of me and in the same way this angel has reminded me to look to Him always!!

I do thank God for answering my prayers and also letting me shout unto Him as I was in distress and in my uncertainty.

May I be the one that You use in Your plans..

In life it is always ready to listen before one makes an opinion or conclude, be it a decision or actions or so on…

Stop, Listen, Go

During the new year after celebrating it in SuiYing’s house I took a break for myself to take some time alone in Perangin mall on Penang Island. I know, to some of you guys having to spend some alone time in a shopping mall is not the way to go.

But I can assure I did enjoy my time there. But this doesn’t pass without pinching your wallet. This is what I bought form the times spend there at the mall….

1. A 120Gb hard drive for my laptop which I’m using now!! Wawaw…

2. Got myself link to the world by buying Times Meg and a book about the May 13’s riot.

3. Treat myself with a blended mocha and a chocolate cheese cake which is an excellent combination at Starbuks!!

Thanks to Simon and Jinny who took the trouble of coming all the way from Queens Bay Mall to town just to pick me and send me back to campus despite their tiredness!! Which few would do!!

Starbuaks!!

Yummy cake!!

Connection to the world!!

You guys are the Best!!